Silver moves slowly, dragging himself out of his chair. This talk of loyalty, of betrayal, it puts him on edge, but how could it not? It brings back those old memories, of drowning and pain, of losing everything, and those long weeks after where he hurt and ached, while the skin rotted from his face, and he was left alone, to suffer it all in hiding, until he found someone who could heal it. It came at a cost β but it had also been an opportunity in the end.
Men like him β perhaps men like Flint, as well β knew what it was to take their pain, and make something from it. What other choice was there? Die off? No, he was a man who needed purpose, and to see what he had started to build become nothing... it was a problem. It was everything, to build something and watch it get taken apart. To see the motivation and fire dim down to banked coals. No, men like him, they neededto build. He needed to tear down that barrier that kept him and his from being quiet, meek, and servile. No more.
He wanted to build something new.
He says he has never been betrayed, but then where did this come from? These feelings? This hesitancy?
He pressed his head to his knee. Silco breathes in, sharp. ]
You have stayed loyal to yourself, have you not? Do you have what it takes to stay loyal to a cause? [ He breathes out, closes his good eye. ]
I still believe in loyalty, you know. I simply understand something that I did not all those years ago. It is not a person you can stay loyal to. I will do something, your Flint would do something, that would draw your ire, and make you consider a different path.
It is the cause that one must stay loyal to. The purpose. The man will always disappoint you, but the cause? It will not.
[ His fingers drum on the arm of his chair, idle. He reaches for him like a lifeline. He allows it. Perhaps he is still weak. ] But there is honesty, in saying that I know you will be disappointed, and falter.
But will you trip, and carry on, or will you turn your back, when it happens? That is the question.
[ it is a strange thing, to want to live for something more than yourself. the men on the walrus had started it, made him feel like he meant something; flint had continued it, relied on him, made him assume responsibilities he'd never even have considered otherwise. and then here — he may not have had a crew, but there was aemond, of course, important to him to a point where he'd do anything to support his goals... and silco, in whom he had seen a natural leader, a man who could accomplish something real. something good.
do you have what it takes to stay loyal to a cause?
maybe. maybe, in this, a cause begins with a man.
slowly, like reaching for a live flame, he moves his hand so he can reach for silco's, fingers drumming against the arm of his chair. the words in his mouth burn like silco's eye does. ]
I may falter... but I won't fail. Not you, nor our cause.
[ he doesn't even realise what he's said — our cause, instead of your. instead, he grips onto silco like he's the only thing keeping him from sinking into an ocean only he can see. ]
[ His fingers twitch, automatic. He very nearly pulls them away, the prospect of touch β of closeness β is a terrifying thing for someone like Silco, who has lost so much, had it taken away from him, so violently. He very nearly doesn't bridge the gap, but he understands that Augmented seek this out, it is automatic, and this... thing, this imprinting, it has its uses, despite what Silco says on the network, or out loud, or otherwise.
He can feel it, in the way it draws him towards Mel. It warps his thinking, makes him... amenable towards her. But in the same, she has softened her approach, and for someone like Silver, who already reaches out to him, seeking his guidance, does this not do that as well? Does the man not seek something?
Certainty?
Loyalty? Just as he does?
He needs it. Perhaps Silver needs it as well. His hand tips, palm up. Welcoming. ]
It is a permanent thing, to devote yourself to a cause. There is no looking back from it, when you confront it, truly. When you understand what it is you are doing.
When you embrace it, and make it yours, as well as mine.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Silver moves slowly, dragging himself out of his chair. This talk of loyalty, of betrayal, it puts him on edge, but how could it not? It brings back those old memories, of drowning and pain, of losing everything, and those long weeks after where he hurt and ached, while the skin rotted from his face, and he was left alone, to suffer it all in hiding, until he found someone who could heal it. It came at a cost β but it had also been an opportunity in the end.
Men like him β perhaps men like Flint, as well β knew what it was to take their pain, and make something from it. What other choice was there? Die off? No, he was a man who needed purpose, and to see what he had started to build become nothing... it was a problem. It was everything, to build something and watch it get taken apart. To see the motivation and fire dim down to banked coals. No, men like him, they neededto build. He needed to tear down that barrier that kept him and his from being quiet, meek, and servile. No more.
He wanted to build something new.
He says he has never been betrayed, but then where did this come from? These feelings? This hesitancy?
He pressed his head to his knee. Silco breathes in, sharp. ]
You have stayed loyal to yourself, have you not? Do you have what it takes to stay loyal to a cause? [ He breathes out, closes his good eye. ]
I still believe in loyalty, you know. I simply understand something that I did not all those years ago. It is not a person you can stay loyal to. I will do something, your Flint would do something, that would draw your ire, and make you consider a different path.
It is the cause that one must stay loyal to. The purpose. The man will always disappoint you, but the cause? It will not.
[ His fingers drum on the arm of his chair, idle. He reaches for him like a lifeline. He allows it. Perhaps he is still weak. ] But there is honesty, in saying that I know you will be disappointed, and falter.
But will you trip, and carry on, or will you turn your back, when it happens? That is the question.
no subject
do you have what it takes to stay loyal to a cause?
maybe. maybe, in this, a cause begins with a man.
slowly, like reaching for a live flame, he moves his hand so he can reach for silco's, fingers drumming against the arm of his chair. the words in his mouth burn like silco's eye does. ]
I may falter... but I won't fail. Not you, nor our cause.
[ he doesn't even realise what he's said — our cause, instead of your. instead, he grips onto silco like he's the only thing keeping him from sinking into an ocean only he can see. ]
no subject
He can feel it, in the way it draws him towards Mel. It warps his thinking, makes him... amenable towards her. But in the same, she has softened her approach, and for someone like Silver, who already reaches out to him, seeking his guidance, does this not do that as well? Does the man not seek something?
Certainty?
Loyalty? Just as he does?
He needs it. Perhaps Silver needs it as well. His hand tips, palm up. Welcoming. ]
It is a permanent thing, to devote yourself to a cause. There is no looking back from it, when you confront it, truly. When you understand what it is you are doing.
When you embrace it, and make it yours, as well as mine.