[ she knows. she hates that she knows that now without powder's feelings bleeding through every day. her guilt. her painful need to prove herself. to be useful. to be necessary. to never be left behind again.
but no one truly left her. she made them leave. she's so good at that. the best. she bites down on her lip. tastes her own tainted blood. ]
[ annoying! especially since there are things she would like his help on. questions she still wants answered! conversations that are all packed in her head! and she can't. bring. it. up.
it bubbles up in her, toxic and severe. how she tamps it down, she doesn't even know. ]
so im teamed up with everlight. also new in revelation.
[ Ignorance is bliss, isn't it? He soldiers on, oblivious.
How long can he remain so? ]
In Revelation, Set is reliable. If you ask for something, he will provide it, and he is a god. [ He doesn't say that it is because Set and Silco have an agreement, about their children. It persists. Set would burn cities, if it meant Jinx's survival. ] Lilias and Jinwoo are also reliable on the team. They seem to be willing to offer aid if needed. Nanami owes me, and may be willing to help in a pinch, and of course...Kaladin cannot help but insert himself if he thinks it is the right thing to do. [ ugh ]
On Everlight there is Hunter, and Raidou is an obnoxious meddling type, but can be directed if he thinks something is the right thing to do. Yor is stronger than she looks and Laios will do anything for kaiju parts. Godzilla is easily incensed and directed, if needed, but is quite large, and I would not recommend without observing his behavior patterns first.
[ It's all so complicated. How does he describe this, or what was before, or β
So he doesn't. She's here, isn't that what matters? ]
Long enough to get the lay of the land, and understand the personalities at play, at the very least. In between dodging the giant monsters. Unfortunately, it also means that most of them also know me.
[ Silco's so used to working in the shadows, where people don't see his every move, but he's been tracked from the very beginning here. It's inconvenient, though he's adapted. Make big moves in one place, so nobody notices when he does something else where they can't see. ]
Of course not. They could kill me, however. I do not trust that it would result in my return to where we came from.
Or they could interfere in my work here. That would be inconvenient, at best.
[ Sure, it doesn't really matter in the long run. Most of it wouldn't matter. Still, Silco needs to stay busy, and to stay busy, he needs things to do, other than complain and smoke β which he does plenty of that too. ]
[ If he dies here, and doesn't return, what happens at home?
He can't let that happen.
But he doesn't want to leave Jinx, either. It worms in his head, like a stone in his shoe. Every time he thinks about it. He keeps thinking about it. Why is he gone? What happened? Who managed to take him away? He would never do it willingly.
He'd been so scared that she would leave. Now it seems the opposite happened. ]
I know it seems obvious, but with LILITH's technology, it seems like it could be something that is circumvented. Unfortunately, it is not.
[ jinx is not something who prides herself on sense. sense as a concept is meaningless. the lanes don't make sense. they gorge on each other as much as piltover does. everyone chasing some pinnacle, just trying to make it to the top. grasping, grabbing, greedy little shits.
she never gave a single fuck. not when silco was alive, not when he passed on. so what if they looked up to her? so what if she killed some pigs? heroism? might as well lose some braincells in the crossfire.
he's not coming back. he'll die here or remain here. impotent.
maybe she should have killed him when she saw him.
but it's too late. too late now. so. what sense is left? how do you move from incontrovertible proof? the gunpowder on her fingertips that brushed over his lifeless face. can she do this all over again? should she try to save him?
or build the perfect coffin and let her curse do the work? ]
nothing's obvious here. just got to crack it all open.
That is one way to reveal all their nasty little secrets.
[ He doesn't know. It's just...Jinx. Right? Her usual self, doing what she does. Breaking things apart, forging a new way. Taking the pieces and making something new.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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gotta establish my style at the right moment.
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You never have to show off for me, you know.
[ this is because he thinks she's perfect anyway though ]
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but no one truly left her. she made them leave. she's so good at that. the best. she bites down on her lip. tastes her own tainted blood. ]
i know.
watch me anyway.
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they'll all see. ]
yeah. i know.
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You'll keep me updated in the meantime, won't you?
Tell me if something happens.
[ He expects mission updates, he's going to get shenanigans via candids ]
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ill keep you posted.
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[ Silco literally does not actually care that much about the kaiju.
then again look at him. What's he doing? ]
If you need more hands, tell me. I can get you some.
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i can manage.
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be relevanthelp ]I know, I know. Of course you can. Let an old man offer regardless, even if you don't take me up on it.
[ He wants her to, though. ]
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it bubbles up in her, toxic and severe. how she tamps it down, she doesn't even know. ]
so im teamed up with everlight. also new in revelation.
whos useful.
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How long can he remain so? ]
In Revelation, Set is reliable. If you ask for something, he will provide it, and he is a god. [ He doesn't say that it is because Set and Silco have an agreement, about their children. It persists. Set would burn cities, if it meant Jinx's survival. ] Lilias and Jinwoo are also reliable on the team. They seem to be willing to offer aid if needed. Nanami owes me, and may be willing to help in a pinch, and of course...Kaladin cannot help but insert himself if he thinks it is the right thing to do. [ ugh ]
On Everlight there is Hunter, and Raidou is an obnoxious meddling type, but can be directed if he thinks something is the right thing to do. Yor is stronger than she looks and Laios will do anything for kaiju parts. Godzilla is easily incensed and directed, if needed, but is quite large, and I would not recommend without observing his behavior patterns first.
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youve been here long.
[ that's all she can say. he has this whole life here. she has her life there. she's . . . jealous. ]
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[ It's all so complicated. How does he describe this, or what was before, or β
So he doesn't. She's here, isn't that what matters? ]
Long enough to get the lay of the land, and understand the personalities at play, at the very least. In between dodging the giant monsters. Unfortunately, it also means that most of them also know me.
[ Silco's so used to working in the shadows, where people don't see his every move, but he's been tracked from the very beginning here. It's inconvenient, though he's adapted. Make big moves in one place, so nobody notices when he does something else where they can't see. ]
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its not like theyre gonna follow us back to zaun. what can they do really?
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Or they could interfere in my work here. That would be inconvenient, at best.
[ Sure, it doesn't really matter in the long run. Most of it wouldn't matter. Still, Silco needs to stay busy, and to stay busy, he needs things to do, other than complain and smoke β which he does plenty of that too. ]
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so what happens if someone dies???
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[ Well, as far as they know. ]
It happened to an outsider a few months ago. There is no way to know if they returned home, or not. I'm of a mind that it is best to avoid it.
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will the cycle repeat? ]
yeah. course.
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He can't let that happen.
But he doesn't want to leave Jinx, either. It worms in his head, like a stone in his shoe. Every time he thinks about it. He keeps thinking about it. Why is he gone? What happened? Who managed to take him away? He would never do it willingly.
He'd been so scared that she would leave. Now it seems the opposite happened. ]
I know it seems obvious, but with LILITH's technology, it seems like it could be something that is circumvented. Unfortunately, it is not.
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she never gave a single fuck. not when silco was alive, not when he passed on. so what if they looked up to her? so what if she killed some pigs? heroism? might as well lose some braincells in the crossfire.
he's not coming back. he'll die here or remain here. impotent.
maybe she should have killed him when she saw him.
but it's too late. too late now. so. what sense is left? how do you move from incontrovertible proof? the gunpowder on her fingertips that brushed over his lifeless face. can she do this all over again? should she try to save him?
or build the perfect coffin and let her curse do the work? ]
nothing's obvious here. just got to crack it all open.
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[ He doesn't know. It's just...Jinx. Right? Her usual self, doing what she does. Breaking things apart, forging a new way. Taking the pieces and making something new.
Still.
He wonders.
But he can't exactly question either, can he? }
You will do just that, won't you?
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got to dig for the truth. and to get out.
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wrapppp